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St. Ides

Damn that picture makes it look yummy. Okay, welcome folks to the St. Ides review.

St. Ides is beer whose reputation precedes it, and by god does it live up to it. It is by far the most hardcore beer you can buy at the liquor store (yes there are a few close runners-up), but there ain't no beer like an Ides.

This beer has gotten celebrity endorsements from only the hardest-core people there are. It isn't a secret that 2Pac, Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Ice Cube, Wu-tang and others have done commercials for this shit. When you drink it, you are a part of the posse, you are sharing a common bond with some of the meanest assholes alive and dead. It's a beer that should and will scare you.

This beer is 8.2% alcohol. One single 40 should be enough to drop seasoned drinkers [actually, bullshit i'm havin a 40 of ides now and i aint feelin shit], but if you can pound 2 back-to-back you are part of an elite club my friend. The price is the cheapest out there - $1.99, I've seen it lower at inner-city stores. The taste? Gut check time fellas, u can't make a face when u drink it. If you make a face liek you do for liquor, u cannot drink Ides again that night, period. The taste isn't even that bad, but if u sip and pussy yer way through the 40, you've destroyed the whole Ides experience

Shitty taste for a shitty price but an excellent beer for effects. NO girls allowed, I've never seen a chic finish one although I know some are out there who can.

Go out, buy yerself an Ides, put un some old west-coast rap and maybe some Tribe called quest, chill... best thing u can do


FUCK-U-UP FACTOR:         10 OUT OF 10
STARS:                    3.5 OUT OF 5
DRINKABILITY:             2 OUT OF 5
DOES IT NEED TO BE COLD?: YES, period
I'M BROKE IS IT FOR ME?:  Beer can accomodate any income level, made especially for the brokest.
I HAVE MONEY:             Leave it alone, don't try to prove shit to yer friends yuppy.
PRICE:                    $1.99 plus tax & dep
GOOD FOR GIRLS?:          No, no matter how much yer bitch says she can handle it
CAN I SMOKE WEED ON IT?:  Great question, and no way.  Don't try it.  Never seen it end well.

Milwaukee's Best Ice

MILWAUKEE'S BEST. Why even write a review? The label says right there that it's the best, where's the argument? Well, Milwaukee's Best isn't the best, actually. We all know that, we've been knowin this shit since they started with the hunter's packs. Anyway, here's my review of Milwaukee's Best Ice.

I always thought Milwaukkee's Best was a redneck type of beer. Not a southern redneck type (like Busch), but kind of a Green Bay, Wisconsin redneck type. Type of beer you give yer 8-year-old son after he bags his first doe. This image itself bothered me tremendously, and I kept away from the drink until I became broke

One day I was at the store and I wanted Bud Ice but I had $2.20. Well, $2.20 is the exact amount (tax and desposit included) for the "Beast Ice." I drank a lot of Ides and Magnum before, so I figured wtf, I'll try it. I came home and pounded a Milwaukee's Best and I've never looked back since.

The beer is the perfect combination of quality and affordability for those who don't have a lot of cash. You won't compromise much on taste (and certainly not effects) by purchasing this beer. The beer itself doesn't have a bad taste, but not a great one either. If u leave it in your mouth too long, especially if u don't brush your teeth that night, you'll wake up with a strange mouth funk that will bother you. The after-taste is fine though. The beer is 5.9% alcohol so it will take two 40's to drop a seasoned drinker. A casual drinker should be pretty wasted.

It packs a less-sugary punch than Bud and it doesn't have the faggy flavored taste of a Blue Moon. It's the perfect beer for when u only have a couple bucks and u don't feel like drinking an Ides. It doesn't have the punch of a malt liquor but is much smoother. You can tell Miller really doesn't give a shit about it though because it's clearly of weaker quality than some of their more premium beers.

FUCK-U-UP FACTOR: 7 OUT OF 10 STARS: 4 OUT OF 5 DRINKABILITY: 4 OUT OF 5 DOES IT NEED TO BE COLD?: YES, unless ur a seasoned vet I'M BROKE IS IT FOR ME?: YES I HAVE MONEY: Then buy somethin else PRICE: $1.99 plus tax & dep GOOD FOR GIRLS?: Depends. not for blondes. see my coors light review